the good, the bad, and the ugly

sooner or later, you figure out that living in new york is like committing yourself to any other relationship. you're initially infatuated, fall in love, and your faith gets tested.

and it even becomes a little love-hate.

you start out in the honeymoon, where everything is magical and beautiful and sparks are flying. it's truly electrifying. everything from walking out the door, the coffee shop across the street, the characters on the benches, the musicians on the subway platforms, the dogs squatting to shit - it all is nothing short of inspiring. you feel as though, "this is it. nothing can be better than this. i can't imagine a more incredible and wondrous place on this earth. i've found IT."

it becomes deeper. and more meaningful. as you learn all of the nuances and idiosyncrasies of the city. all of the twists and turns of the village. exploring the grid of the rest of the island. zipping along the underground rails. meandering through the parks. uncovering the hidden gems of divebars and diners and shops that have been around for ages. you figure out what is "yours."

then there's almost inevitably something that will happen to shake things up. IS this it? "do you love me as much as you claim?" the city demands to know. and you must suddenly shuffle through the history of your relationship. the good, the bad, and the oh so ugly.

you remind the city . . . i'd like to be able to fucking afford you! afford an apartment on my own. i'd like to have my dog back. i'd like to have some luxury back. i'd like to not constantly be stepping through trash swirls! as i stand waiting for the subway, i look around and realize that it's totally fucked up that men, women, and children stand UNDERGROUND with dirty water dripping all over them waiting for an even dirtier smellier vault to shoot them across town. and all pray that we don't stall, mid-tunnel, along the way. in the winter, we freeze our asses off. in the summer, we're constantly walking through the thick heat and stench of garbage, sewage, and sweat.

and the city reminds you . . . i'm also thick with culture. and history. and stories. and you can't get through a day without smiling with me. at least once. you know that. i put you shoulder to shoulder with reality everyday. and beauty. not naive beauty. but real beauty. and diversity. i challenge you. i make you think. and i make you grow up. and some part of you not only wants that. and needs that. but loves that.

and so you remember.