10-14

she was the biggest planner on the planet. the dutchess of to-do lists.

she'd know what she was going to have for dinner about 6 months ahead of time. hell. she'd know what YOU were going to have for dinner about 6 months ahead of time.

she'd be planning a party for years.

specifically, she'd been planning her 90th birthday for the past 2 years. . .

she was going to get us all rooms at her favorite beach resort. and have a giant family and friends getaway. and "if you have a boyfriend, caroline, you can bring him too." she talked about what food we'd have. who would stay in which rooms. what she would wear.

so it's been bizarre to think that with all of that planning . . . she won't be having her party.

this october was going to be her 90th birthday.

we all gathered last weekend. and it was more bitter than bittersweet. we'd all been planning to take time off in october.

not march.

and as the cousins gathered in the familiar surroundings of our matriarch's lush living room and dining room. sipping our cocktails and munching on the comfort foods people had brought for us...her daughters - our mothers - gathered us for a toast.

that grandmother had written. for her 90th birthday.

that woman always did plan ahead. so far ahead that she had managed to inadvertently write her own tribute. and, as was typical, no one could've done it better.

she wrote of being born into privilege. growing up grounded by family. falling in love. having children. losing her Love. and the hard lesson of moving on.

she concluded by expressing her gratitude for being made to be a part of our family. and for knowing each of us.

The irony and timeliness of her words inspired awe . . .
. . . but of course, in her tribute, she hadn't wanted us toasting HER. she, in fact, wanted to toast US.