first friends

two fresh-faced kids. wheeling boxes into their first new york city apartments.

shake hands. say hello.

and create a friendship. immediately building their first friendship in new york.

and the years pass. memories are made.

and one day he announces...

he's leaving.

he got married today. and is leaving town in two days.

and tonight is the last chance to send him off.

so she does. she says goodbye. she offers best wishes. they each promise to write. call. visit.

and she feels...

immense pride, happiness in how far he has come. each of them have come. since that first day so long ago.

and immense sadness at the loss of the crazy, random nights spent together. sadness that - although these times were occasional - it was always nice simply knowing he was out there too.

tackling the city.

apart. together.

what goes up...

i spent the weekend hibernating. away from everything.
i just curled up in my apartment. reading and watching movies and napping.
recharging.

i felt really good after my lazy weekend.

and today ... through most of the day at work, i felt at ease. rejuvenated.
productive. and in a generally good mood.

then the pendulum swung.

people have wondered how i can do this job. i have too. . .

to be honest: i truly enjoy it. on my best days, it allows me to see change. so that, selfishly, it allows me to feel that i'm leaving my little imprint on the world.
i'm doing something. and i'm passionate about it.
and, indeed, it can be hard. if for no other reason than it's ability to be so emotionally wrenching at times.

this afternoon, i answered the phone. an emergency had unfolded in one of the schools i work with. and the more i heard. the worse it became. ripples and ripples of people affected by this one very sad little person. who had at some point - i am sure - been affected by some other very sad larger person.

i have heard many things in this job. many things that have made me feel angry. or frustrated. or disappointed. even determined.

but this. this just made me feel sad. profoundly sad.