what goes up...

i spent the weekend hibernating. away from everything.
i just curled up in my apartment. reading and watching movies and napping.
recharging.

i felt really good after my lazy weekend.

and today ... through most of the day at work, i felt at ease. rejuvenated.
productive. and in a generally good mood.

then the pendulum swung.

people have wondered how i can do this job. i have too. . .

to be honest: i truly enjoy it. on my best days, it allows me to see change. so that, selfishly, it allows me to feel that i'm leaving my little imprint on the world.
i'm doing something. and i'm passionate about it.
and, indeed, it can be hard. if for no other reason than it's ability to be so emotionally wrenching at times.

this afternoon, i answered the phone. an emergency had unfolded in one of the schools i work with. and the more i heard. the worse it became. ripples and ripples of people affected by this one very sad little person. who had at some point - i am sure - been affected by some other very sad larger person.

i have heard many things in this job. many things that have made me feel angry. or frustrated. or disappointed. even determined.

but this. this just made me feel sad. profoundly sad.