good samaritan

yesterday, i was walking into what is, sadly, one of the two places to eat when i'm out of my office and trolling around the bronx.

i noticed a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk. the wind was picking up. and it looked as though it might blow away. though i'd already considered and dismissed the possibility that the bill was mine. i picked it up. $20 means a lot to me. but it means even more to those i encounter up here. before i could get the words out, "did someone - -" a woman and her friend snatched it out of my hand proclaiming "that's
mine." and "thank you."

i stepped inside to place my order.

and suddenly.

all hell broke loose.

two young men got up telling me that they knew who had dropped that $20. i explained that i'd picked it up and the women had claimed it. this sent two other men in the place spinning.

i got a bad feeling.

as i looked out the window, i saw the two women walking away and heading down the street.

a man in a winter hat and workman's clothes stepped into the store. and everyone started talking at once. apparently this was the man who had dropped his $20. he had returned to his work van before realizing he was missing his money. and i realized that the others were explaining i had picked it up. the man began professing "thank you, thank you, thank you" as he held out his hand. mistaking my own $20 bill for his. i apologized and explained that the women outside had claimed the money
as their own.

the man shot out the door and down the street after the women. and we could hear screaming. lots of screaming. one of the young men in the shop began laughing good naturedly when he saw my face which - i'm sure - was full of alarm and splashed with regret. he just kept saying to me, "it's ok. don't worry about it. it'll be fine. those bitches are crackheads."

in all of this chaos, i heard the man and the two women screaming outside. he was begging, "please pleeease give me my money! that is MY DOUGH!" the two women were swearing they didn't have it. the man's co-worker and friend yelled into me, "was it those two women?" i started to respond with a nod, wondering what i was getting myself into. the friend briefly stepped in and repeated, "was it one of them? because they sayin the don't have it." i just responded, "i picked it up. they
said it was theirs and took it- - " i interrupted myself, "i just don't want to get in the middle of this."

i sat inside as i watched the men and two women screaming. standing in each other's faces. puffing out their chests. pointing fingers.

i realized my heart had leapt to my throat.
some of the finger pointing was at me.
my mind was instantly filled with a thousand nightmarish scenarios.

the top two:
they all start beating the shit out of each other.
they all start beating the shit out of me.

in a rather anticlimactic fashion, it stopped almost as suddenly as it had started.

the men got in their van and squealed off. without having their money returned.

my food was ready.

i walked out. clutching my paper bag. holding my breath. listening to the two women continue their tirade.

about two blocks away. i exhaled.