00:30:00

i've realized that there are certain random people in this city that i will randomly and repeatedly encounter. owl. dollar bill guy. euro fancypants - about whom i've yet to have written. and now . . . roddy.

saturday, i sat on a bench in washington square park. taking in the early fall day. no one sitting on the benches to my right or left. i was absorbed in thought. and in the hula hoop contest taking place a few feet away.

and suddenly. i heard, "white girl. hey. white girl!" as i turned my head - because i am, after all, a white girl - a relatively attractive black man approached me. hollering, "don't worry. gay guy here." i kind of laughed. and then it occurred to me. hey. i know this guy.

he put his hand out and excitedly introduced himself to me, "hi. i'm roland." i shook his hand, looked inquisitively, and stated, "yeah. i know. roddy." he sat next to me with his mouth gaping open. and asked with an edge of irritation, "how do you know my nickname?" i explained that we had in fact met before. in the fountain not too far from where we were sitting at the moment.

he suddenly seemed outright frustrated. and pissed off. and . . . emotional. he had tears in his eyes.

i could tell from his manic movement and rapid speech that he was the same coked-up roddy i'd met about a year ago.

he proceeded to talk with me. repeatedly demanding, "chat me up." betting me that i wouldn't sit with him for thirty minutes. i assured him that he would likely win that bet.

he grew more and more irritable. and i said as much. with agitation, he confessed that he was coked up. i stated that i had figured that out and that he had also been doing coke when i met him last.

he began biting his lip. pools welling in his eyes.

finally i asked. "what's wrong? you seem upset." he thought for a little bit and stated that he was going to tell me. but to give him a minute. it was going to make him cry. i waited. and waited. and suddenly he switched gears. and started talking about something else. i reminded him that he was about to tell me what was wrong. he didn't respond.

i asked, "roddy. do you just want someone to talk to you?"

he looked at me with watery eyes and said, "yes."

he reached out to hug me. but he'd been so offensive and irritable throughout our conversation - going so far as to grab my sunglasses off of my face - that i told him that i didn't want to hug. he seemed wounded. and pissed. i apologized. and stated that i wasn't trying to hurt his feelings. but explained that he had already invaded my space once and that had upset me. i wasn't interested in hugging, and he needed to respect that.

he went off at this point. adamently stating that he could easily go over to the two men sitting nearby and hug each of them. i welcomed him to do so. this angered him even more.

he demanded to know why i still sat there. next to him. if i was so unwilling to talk with him or hug him. i pointed out that i had simply been sitting on the bench. enjoying the day. and he had approached me. not the other way around.

i swear. passersby could have easily thought we were having a lovers' quarrel. if it hadn't have been for his being gay.

i sat there for a few minutes as he huffed. and puffed. and hmphed. and scoffed. rolling his eyes at me. making attempts to provoke me.

until i finally turned to him. and calmly said, "roddy. i don't know if it's the coke or something else. but you seem very upset. and irritable. and even paranoid. whatever it is. you seem very troubled . . ."

roddy interrupted with a defiant, "i am."

i continued, ". . . and i hope you find someone you can talk to."

roddy bitterly responded, "me too."

i stood up. and walked away.

it was just under thirty minutes.