never never jam today

it's pretty extraordinary how many elderly people there are living on their own in the city. they live in the same apartments they've had for 40-plus years. run their own errands. maintain more active lives than most people their age do. i guess because they have to. or because the level of activity this city can require - the walking, the climbing of stairs, the carrying of heavy loads while doing the aforementioned walking and climbing - increases their ability or inclination to maintain their activity as they grow older. they also tend to be sharp. witty. social. maybe that's also because of their day-to-day interactions. i don't know.

lorraine is 97. she lives in the same apartment that she and her late husband lived in for their entire married lives. she now lives in the apartment with a dog named alex. everyday she wakes up at around 11am. steadying herself with her cane, she slowly but purposefully makes her way down the street to jack's for coffee. she sits with a coffee and scone and good company. and she talks of everything from her life experiences to her crush on jack. good-humored. fascinating. sharp as a tac. she has no children of her own. but she certainly has family here in the 'hood.

lorraine is exceptional. even by new york standards.

today i went to one of my local diners, joe jr's. i took a seat at the counter directly in front of the door. and just as my food was being served, a stranger on the street opened the door to assist an elderly woman as she shuffled inside. the woman used a cane to hobble around as she inspected each available stool, all the while mumbling disruptively that she was looking for a "strong" one. she finally settled on one to the right of a middle-aged man at the end of the counter perpendicular to me. she continued to babble with question after question about the stools. and . . . "is this skim milk in my coffee? is this butter with my toast? do you have margarine? oh you don't? well. i can't have butter. what's this other stuff?" the man next to her had become a surrogate son and caretaker in a matter of minutes and explained that the other packets were jelly. she asked him, "what's the brand?" he responded, "kraft." upon hearing this, she hollered out, "do you have marmalade? i want marmalade. i need marmalade. not jelly." she continued to blather on about marmalade until the busy but accommodating staff put the marmalade on the counter in front her. The woman's new and helpful companion called attention to it by proclaiming, "there ya go!" the woman, looking surprised and pleased, picked it up. realizing her nimble fingers couldn't tackle the small packets, she passed them to the kind man on her left. he obliged in opening them. and went a step further by spreading the marmalade gently across her toast as he continued to listen amiably to her chatter.

as i paid my bill and stood to leave, the two were enjoying a late breakfast and conversation together.

though strangers mere minutes before, her need for patience and marmalade and his willingness to offer both helped bring these two together if only for one meal.